Archive for June, 2008

These Movies Do Not Compute

Things are a little slow out here at Casa de PelĂ­culas Mudas what with Pixar’s new “Wall-e” being all sweet and cute and melting everyone’s heart into sweet tasting goo. Damn you Pixar! Why do your movies have to kick so much ass? Every time you make a good movie, one of my children doesn’t get to eat.

So in honor of Pixar’s latest masterpiece, we present some dumb movies about robots.

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Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

As if the “Transformers” movie couldn’t get any more messed up, it’s about to get a weird cameo and no it’s not Cracker, the autobot who can turn into a broken down, double wide trailer with no wheels.

According to Ain’t It Cool News, a picture of Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show’s Wack Pack appeared in a set shot for the new “Transformers” flick.

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‘Get Smart’ is No. 1 at the Box Office, No. 2,789 with the Critics

A lot of you “Get Smart” are probably staring at the screen and going “Nyah-nyah-nyah” like little sugared up children because I put this film on last week’s “Sure to Suck” list. All it did was making the number one spot at the box office. If money proved that a film was good, “The Phantom Menace” would have won the Best Picture Oscar.

“Get Smart,” the TV adaptation starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway, took home the top spot at the box office this weekend, according to Rotten Tomatoes.

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The G.I. Joe Movie Will Suck, Now You Know and Knowing is Half the Battle

Is there a classic toy that doesn’t have a development deal with a major motion picture studio? First there was the Transformers movie and now G.I. Joe? What will the Slinky movie be like? “In a world, where you can walk down the stairs, alone or in pairs…”

Some new posters for the upcoming “G.I. Joe” movie hit the web this week. Movies Online scored the first images of them.

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Megan Fox Said…Well, I Don’t Remember Because I Was Staring at Her Boobies the Whole Time

Apparently, actress Megan Fox spilled some details about the new “Transformers” movie but it took forever for the news to get to the web because all the bloggers had written in their notebooks was “I would so do her” over and over again.

Megan Fox spilled the beans about the script to “Transformers 2″ to the MTV Movies Blog.

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The Old Sucky Remake of a Classic Television Show Trick, That’s the Second Time I’ve Fallen for it This Year…

It’s Thursday and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for another edition of “Sure to Suck,” a sure fire guide to avoiding the movies that are sure to suck at a cineplex near you. Unless, of course, you want to watch something that sucks. Then it’s the just USA Today weekend movie guide, which has much better graphics than us and Larry King’s “News and Views” column.

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The Pope Hates Your Movie

We rarely would consult the Pope as a movie critic. You would get better advice on how to do your taxes from a homeless guy. In this case, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

The Pope and the Catholic Church have barred filmmakers from using churches under their wing for scenes in the upcoming sequel to “The Da Vinci Code” directed by Ron Howard, according to the Los Angeles Times.

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Another CW Star Gets a Horror Movie Perpetuating the ‘All CW Stars Will Eventually Get Their Own Horror Movie’ Cycle

Recognize that famous face to the left? Me neither, but apparently he’s set to star in another horror movie that’s sure to draw in a crowd of lonely teenage girls who can identify him and have no dates for a Saturday night.

Aaron Ashmore from TV’s “Smallville” and “Veronica Mars” will star in a horror movie that takes place in the Arctic called “The Thaw,” according to ComingSoon.net.

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‘Willow 2′ Would Be Shortest Sequel Ever, Not By Length But By Height

Remember the day when “Willow” was about to premiere in the local theater and how you camped out in front of the box office for days going without sleep or showering or solid food and just when you were about to give up, the box office opened and you got the first ticket and you realized how sad and pathetic your lonely life really was when you were the only person in the theater?

Well, chances are if you were the person I described above, you’ll have another chance to relive the emotional pain all over again because a “Willow 2″ could be in the works soon, according to the MTV Movies Blog.

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Hulk Smash! Hulk Slam! Hulk Sure to Suck!

The summer movie season seems to be in full swing since there’s a slew of films on the weekend menu that are short on story and long on suck. Here’s the stuff you should avoid this weekend like gamma radiation poisoning.

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More Dumb Movies »