Archive for August, 2008

More Suck for Your Buck

It’s the weekend. You’ve got money to burn and time to spare. You’ve also got no will to leave and no reason to go on with your meaningless pathetic little life. Why not go to your local movie theater?

Here’s what is “Sure to Suck” this weekend at a theater near you.

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Trouble in Babylon

It’s pretty bad when a movie gets a bad review days before it is scheduled to open…from the film’s director.

Mathieu Kassovitz, director of the new Vin Diesel vehicle “Babylon A.D.,” made fun of his own film, according to Variety.

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Just Imagine Cher in Latex, Now Vomit

“The Dark Knight” is a big, huge hit, so big that’s there’s even talk of it being an Oscar contender. That means the rumors about the third film are going to never stop flying until it hits the screen. We wish this one would have crash landed.

Get the Big Picture reports that Cher is being consider to play Catwoman in the next Batman movie.

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Paramount Sequels No One Asked for Coming to DVD

If you were hoping and praying for sequels to films like “Grease” and “Without a Paddle,” kill yourself, then watch these sequels because you’ll end killing yourself by the time they are done. It makes for better time managment.

The Movie Blog reports that Paramount will release a line of direct-to-DVD films based on several popular comedies.

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Arab Nations Mess with the Zohan

Normally I’m never for censorship of any kind, but when it comes to Adam Sandler’s last film, I’ll make an exception.

The Movie Blog reports that Lebanon is the only Arab nation to allow screenings of Sandler’s last film, “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.”

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Suck of the Irish

Hey there American public, are you dying (get it?) to see another “Leprechaun” sequel? Have you been unable to go through life without knowing where that wiley “Leprechaun” ends up? Have you been on the brink of emotional suicide because there hasn’t been another “Leprechaun” movie? Of course you haven’t.

That hasn’t stopped director Darryl Bousman from announcing that he’s interested in doing another one, according to the MTV Movies Blog.

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Paris in Trouble As Opposed to Vice Versa

So if you hire Paris Hilton to be in your movie and that movie tanks, technically you should be able to sue Paris Hilton for damages, right? Makes sense to me.

Unfortunately, the backers of Paris’ last film, “Pledge This!” sued her not because the film tanked, but because she didn’t try to promote the movie, according to Cinematical.

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Apparently, They Aren’t Too Old for This S*#&

If you thought Mel Gibson was crazy before, wait until you hear this.

Both Gibson and Danny Glover and ready, willing and able to make a fifth “Lethal Weapon” movie, according to The Movie Blog.

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Set Your Phasers to Suck for This Weekend

Another weekend is just around the corner and that can only mean one thing, other than the odds are that you’ll meet your friends at the bar for a few drinks and wake up four days later in another country with no money, hair or pants.

The movie theaters and DVD stores are bound to be filled with new releases that will make you want to release something all over them. These are the movies that are “Sure to Suck” this weekend.

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Ebert Puts Down His Thumb for the Last Time

We have some sad news to report today. Well, we always have sad news, but this is sad in that it’s about the end of the era and the inevitable passage of time, not the development of ignorance and prolonging of stupidity. You know, stuff about Uwe Boll’s movies.

Film critic Roger Ebert as well as fellow critic Richard Roeper will not be returning to their famous television show after 33 years on the air, according to the New York Times.

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