Archive for September, 2008

Long Day’s Journey Into M. Night Shamaylan

M. Night Shyamalan has hit 0-4 for his last films. Everyone has not only been a huge disappointment, but a crushing mindless bore. He makes movies with twist endings the way President Bush makes budgets with sound financial advice.

The Movie Blog reported his next film might be a sequel to one of his films that sort of doesn’t suck.

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“Transformers 2″ Trying to Transform Itself Into a Watchable Film

Are you waiting with giddy anticipation for the next “Transformers” movie from Michael Bay? Well have we got a shocker for you. You are a huge loser with a rotten taste in movies and you need some serious, serious help.

As for the other shocker, Latino Review has some new images of Megatron for “Transformers II: Rise of the Fallen.”

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Love This Movie or the Terrorists Win

Now before the comments start flying about how we’re anti-American and against everything it stands for because we’re making fun of this movie, just remember we here at DumbMovies are Americans too. We’re not left wing or right wing. We firmly believe that both Democrats AND Republicans suck.

So with that in mind, here’s a look at the upcoming parody schlock-fest that is “An American Carol.”

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Ratner’s “Guitar Hero” Movie Has As Good of a Chance of Getting Made as a Sequel to “Money Talks”

If you thought “Rush Hour” director Brett Ratner was nutty after seeing every movie he’s ever made, wait until you hear about one of his movies that will never get made.

Ratner is trying desperately to do a movie based on the video game “Guitar Hero”, according to the video game blog Kotaku.

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If It Walks Like It Sucks and Talks Like It Sucks…

Another weekend is creeping up upon us like some kind of giant herpes monster and if you’re a movie freak like me, it’s something you’d rather avoid just like the giant herpes monster.

Here’s what is “Sure to Suck” this weekend at a theater near you.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger…Not as the Terminator?

The Terminator is about the only role of Arnold Schwarzenegger the world can stand because it calls for a wooden, emotionless, stoic character who talks like he’s reading off a cue-card. It’s a wonder he didn’t get the Best Actor Oscar.

But MTV’s Movie Blog has some news of other people who were considered for that famous movie role.

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‘Duke’ To Make Audiences ‘Puke’

It looks like video game movies are going to be around for a long time…unless I some how figure out a way to go back in time and stop video games from ever being made. That’s so crazy that it just might work.

Moviesonline.ca reports that a “Duke Nukem” movie is officially in the works.

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“Triple-X” to “Triple-Suck”

Have you been clamoring for another “Triple-XXX” movie? Well, get your hand out of your pants and check this out.

Vin Diesel is in talks to return to the third installment, according to Variety.

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The Family that Sucks

So now that the summer movie season is finally out of the way and Oscar nomination times are winding down fast, that must mean the theaters will have smooth sailing for now on. Yeah, keep enjoying that pipe dream until the pipe bursts and floods your basement with hope, despair and misery and no plumber is going to agree to clean that up. Here’s what is sure to suck this weekend at a theater near you.

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“The Dark Knight Returns”…with Rocky?

We love disagreeing with other blogs and movie forums, especially when they couldn’t be more wrong than a show that features Bill Hicks opening for Raffi.

The Movie Blog reports on a quote from comic book artist Frank Miller about his hope and dream that one day, Sylvester Stallone will get to play “The Dark Knight.”

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