Dumb Movies: In The News

What Happened with “The Happening”?

M. Night Shyamalan’s latest shock ‘n shout fest “The Happening” didn’t happen. Surprise!

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the film barely pulled in $60 million after more than two weeks in released and has the lowest percentage critic rating among this week’s top 10 highest grossing movies. This means it’s destined to become not just one of the worst rating and successful films of the summer, but perhaps of the entire year.

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‘Get Smart’ is No. 1 at the Box Office, No. 2,789 with the Critics

A lot of you “Get Smart” are probably staring at the screen and going “Nyah-nyah-nyah” like little sugared up children because I put this film on last week’s “Sure to Suck” list. All it did was making the number one spot at the box office. If money proved that a film was good, “The Phantom Menace” would have won the Best Picture Oscar.

“Get Smart,” the TV adaptation starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway, took home the top spot at the box office this weekend, according to Rotten Tomatoes.

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The Pope Hates Your Movie

We rarely would consult the Pope as a movie critic. You would get better advice on how to do your taxes from a homeless guy. In this case, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

The Pope and the Catholic Church have barred filmmakers from using churches under their wing for scenes in the upcoming sequel to “The Da Vinci Code” directed by Ron Howard, according to the Los Angeles Times.

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Another CW Star Gets a Horror Movie Perpetuating the ‘All CW Stars Will Eventually Get Their Own Horror Movie’ Cycle

Recognize that famous face to the left? Me neither, but apparently he’s set to star in another horror movie that’s sure to draw in a crowd of lonely teenage girls who can identify him and have no dates for a Saturday night.

Aaron Ashmore from TV’s “Smallville” and “Veronica Mars” will star in a horror movie that takes place in the Arctic called “The Thaw,” according to ComingSoon.net.

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‘Willow 2′ Would Be Shortest Sequel Ever, Not By Length But By Height

Remember the day when “Willow” was about to premiere in the local theater and how you camped out in front of the box office for days going without sleep or showering or solid food and just when you were about to give up, the box office opened and you got the first ticket and you realized how sad and pathetic your lonely life really was when you were the only person in the theater?

Well, chances are if you were the person I described above, you’ll have another chance to relive the emotional pain all over again because a “Willow 2″ could be in the works soon, according to the MTV Movies Blog.

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Holy Smurf! Get Ready to Smurf in Your Smurfs at the “Smurfs” Movie

Those cute little adorable creatures that were a staple of every child of the 80s’ Saturday morning cartoon diet are about to be ripped apart and torn limb from tiny blue limb by the most destructive force known to human kind - Hollywood.

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‘Sex’ Number One at Box Office Because Guys Everywhere are Whipped

If you saw the “Sex and the City” movie this past weekend and didn’t get laid, I’d think about calling a lawyer or if you didn’t bring a date with you, a psychiatrist because you have some issues that need to be worked out.

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Ed Wood’s Sucky Movie to Get Suckier Remake

Call me blind, but part of me loves the original “Plan 9 from Outer Space.” Sure, it’s badly filmed, badly written, badly acted, badly shot, badly edited, badly scored and (probably) badly catered, but Ed Wood’s got heart, something most directors who had more money to fuck around with than Wood did couldn’t muster if they bought enough blood from their starving teenage assistants.

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How Do You Make Video Game Movies Suck More? Add in a Heaping Spoonful of Brent Ratner

Thought video game movies couldn’t get any worse? Wait until you see what Brent Ratner’s got up his sleeve. Note to Brent: you might want to wash that sleeve before you put that shirt back on again.

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Boll Making Another Movie Due to Unpopular Demand

Uwe Boll hasn’t made a successful or popular movie to date, but that hasn’t deterred him from making another movie. He may be low on talent, but he’s high on determination and possibly some kind of homemade narcotic.

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