Dumb Movies: In The News

Paramount Sequels No One Asked for Coming to DVD

If you were hoping and praying for sequels to films like “Grease” and “Without a Paddle,” kill yourself, then watch these sequels because you’ll end killing yourself by the time they are done. It makes for better time managment.

The Movie Blog reports that Paramount will release a line of direct-to-DVD films based on several popular comedies.

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Arab Nations Mess with the Zohan

Normally I’m never for censorship of any kind, but when it comes to Adam Sandler’s last film, I’ll make an exception.

The Movie Blog reports that Lebanon is the only Arab nation to allow screenings of Sandler’s last film, “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.”

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Suck of the Irish

Hey there American public, are you dying (get it?) to see another “Leprechaun” sequel? Have you been unable to go through life without knowing where that wiley “Leprechaun” ends up? Have you been on the brink of emotional suicide because there hasn’t been another “Leprechaun” movie? Of course you haven’t.

That hasn’t stopped director Darryl Bousman from announcing that he’s interested in doing another one, according to the MTV Movies Blog.

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Paris in Trouble As Opposed to Vice Versa

So if you hire Paris Hilton to be in your movie and that movie tanks, technically you should be able to sue Paris Hilton for damages, right? Makes sense to me.

Unfortunately, the backers of Paris’ last film, “Pledge This!” sued her not because the film tanked, but because she didn’t try to promote the movie, according to Cinematical.

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Apparently, They Aren’t Too Old for This S*#&

If you thought Mel Gibson was crazy before, wait until you hear this.

Both Gibson and Danny Glover and ready, willing and able to make a fifth “Lethal Weapon” movie, according to The Movie Blog.

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Ebert Puts Down His Thumb for the Last Time

We have some sad news to report today. Well, we always have sad news, but this is sad in that it’s about the end of the era and the inevitable passage of time, not the development of ignorance and prolonging of stupidity. You know, stuff about Uwe Boll’s movies.

Film critic Roger Ebert as well as fellow critic Richard Roeper will not be returning to their famous television show after 33 years on the air, according to the New York Times.

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‘Doom’ and Gloom

Video game movies are a mystery to me. They have a pretty solid track record of being really bad and yet they keep making them. It’s as if the studios don’t even care if they are good or…oh wow, I’ve just reached total enlightenment!

Dark Horizons reports that the creators of the “Doom” video game want a sequel and they’ll shoot you in the face with a big f#&$ing gun.

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Did you think the last two live action “Scooby Doo” movies were just pure tripe, a total piece of garbage and a complete waste of your time, money and eyeball juice? So do the studio heads. For once, we see eye to evil, evil eye.

Variety reports the third live action film will go straight-to-DVD.

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Back By Unpopular Demand, An “Alvin & the Chipmunks” Sequel

You knew this was coming, so let’s just pretend that it’s the nasty tasting cough medicine we all hated as a child, look at it and swallow it and go on with our lives, except this kind of cough medicine will make you want to stab your own brain.

The Movie Blog reported that a sequel to “Alvin and the Chipmunks” is in the works.

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There’s Always Room for J-Lo

If you’re wondering where Jennifer Lopez went, it’s time to start wishing you hadn’t.

Variety reports that the J.Lo-ster herself will start in another cookie cutter, run of the mill romantic comedy called “Governess.”

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