Dumb Movies: In The News

Sucky Sequel Talk Surfaces at Comic Con

The annual Comic Con, that gathering of portly nerds with no jobs and loads of frequent flyer miles, has been stirring up all kinds of talks of movie sequels to films you may not believe deserve the sequel treatment.

Today’s MoviesOnline.ca has a slew of sequel news in their inbox.

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You Can’t Spell “Wow, This Movie Sucks” Without “WWE”

If you thought wrestling looked fake, wait until you see their movies, which is doubly sad since you know movies are supposed to be fake.

The World Wrestling Entertainment franchise have officially opened their own Hollywood film studio, according to Variety.

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“Plastic Man” to Become Keanu Reeves’ Most Aptly Titled Film Ever

When will the Wachowski brothers ever learn their lesson? Maybe when millions of blind, easily amused theater goers stop going to their movies and since that’s never going to happen, I guess ignorance is bliss.

Ain’t It Cool News reports that the team that brought you “The Matrix” is hard at work on a remake of the comic book character, “Plastic Man.”

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More Good News Other Than There is a God

All of my wishes are coming true. It’s just like Christmas except unwanted kids aren’t running around my house in front of my TV while I watch the game, there are no relatives around to create awkward conversations about bladder operations and Grandpa’s not drunk and calling the authorities to report a kidnapping because his kids are talking about putting him in a home.

After studios quashed rumors about a possible friends movie, it seems the creators of “The Sopranos” have whacked any chance of a similar movie, according to Cinematical.

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ABBA Vows to End Its Reign of Terror

Technically this isn’t movie news except for the fact that happened at a premiere for a movie that looks and sounds like it could kill people with its very soul.

The disco tripe churner ABBA announced they will never get together for a reunion, according to the the AP.

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Finally…Some Good News About a Bad Movie

In the few months I’ve been doing this blog, I’m happy to report that FINALLY I have some good news to report for the first time in our short history. Uwe Boll is retiring in flames kind of good. The guy who make the “Movie” parody movies are now managing a 7-11 kind of good.

There will not be a “Friends” movie, according to The Movie Blog.

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Maybe Al Gore Was Right AND Dull…

There must be waves of heat stroke criss crossing the country because with a few exceptions, a lot of bad movies have been scoring the number one box office spot.

The superhero spoof “Hancock” earned the top at the box office during the coveted Fourth of July weekend, according to IMDB.com.

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What Happened with “The Happening”?

M. Night Shyamalan’s latest shock ‘n shout fest “The Happening” didn’t happen. Surprise!

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the film barely pulled in $60 million after more than two weeks in released and has the lowest percentage critic rating among this week’s top 10 highest grossing movies. This means it’s destined to become not just one of the worst rating and successful films of the summer, but perhaps of the entire year.

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‘Get Smart’ is No. 1 at the Box Office, No. 2,789 with the Critics

A lot of you “Get Smart” are probably staring at the screen and going “Nyah-nyah-nyah” like little sugared up children because I put this film on last week’s “Sure to Suck” list. All it did was making the number one spot at the box office. If money proved that a film was good, “The Phantom Menace” would have won the Best Picture Oscar.

“Get Smart,” the TV adaptation starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway, took home the top spot at the box office this weekend, according to Rotten Tomatoes.

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The Pope Hates Your Movie

We rarely would consult the Pope as a movie critic. You would get better advice on how to do your taxes from a homeless guy. In this case, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

The Pope and the Catholic Church have barred filmmakers from using churches under their wing for scenes in the upcoming sequel to “The Da Vinci Code” directed by Ron Howard, according to the Los Angeles Times.

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