If You Thought “Hostel II” Was Torture…
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Eli Roth, the man who used “Hostel” and “Hostel II” to launch the glorious world of torture porn, wants to make another film that doesn’t feature torture, but still feels like it.
Dumb Movies: In The News
‘Da Vinci Code’ Getting a Sequel, No One Cares
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Hey there America, did you like “The Da Vinci Code” movie? Of course you didn’t, that’s why they are making a sequel because you didn’t learn you lesson.
Michael Bay is a Lying Scumbag, Seriously He Said So
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If you thought Michael Bay was the most evil human being on the planet before, get ready to expand his title to the universe after you read this little ditty.
EW Calls Uwe Boll ‘Cinema’s Worst Director’
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Entertainment Weekly, the magazine for people with coffee tables, recently asked the question, “Is Uwe Boll the worst director of all time?” They tried to answer this question by reviewing all of his films AT ONCE. We just like to say that you should never attempt to reenact this stunt at home. These people are professionals, even if they write for Entertainment Weekly.
Tucker, Chan Teaming Up to Bring More Pain…to Audiences Everywhere
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For once, we have some good news. Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan won’t be teaming up for another “Rush Hour” movie. But before you breathe that sigh of relief, you might want to hold it in, that and every other future breath so you won’t have to hear the news I’m about to bring to you.
‘Prom Night’ Slashes Competition, Audience’s Eyes
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America, you made “Prom Night” the number one movie over the weekend. America really needs to get out more.
Boll Puts His Mouth Where His Balls Are
Read more »Uwe Boll has had an interesting career as a movie director, if by interesting you mean as interesting as a train wreck that a plane nose dived into while carrying a payload of fireworks, dynamite and CIA grade C4.
Screen Gems Sinking Its Gold Teeth Into Austen’s “Emma”
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I don’t pretend to understand everything about the hip-hop universe. I listen to some of its music, enjoy its stories and appreciate the mark it has left on the world. I’m sure the world’s greatest writers and artists would have the same attitude if they were alive today by leaving it the hell alone.
WWE Wants to Keep Making Movies, WWhaaaa?
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When I heard that World Wrestling Entertainment wanted to make more films despite the fact the last three have bombed, I thought to myself, “The WWE has been making movies? Their wrestlers can’t even act well in the ring. What makes them think they’re such thespians?”
‘Fantastic 4′ Won’t Make It to Three
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The “Fantastic 4″ movie franchise has been anything but. The first one was OK. The second one sucked out loud. The third one probably would have made my head cave in.