Dumb Movies: Dumb Coming Attractions
May 7, 2008 ·
Filed under Dumb Coming Attractions ·
We all know that all video game movies suck. And we all know that all Jerry Bruckheimer movies suck. What would happen if someone combined the two? If the thought hasn’t made your head explode, then keep reading.
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May 6, 2008 ·
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If you’re looking forward to the new big screen “Speed Racer” remake, kill yourself. But before you do check out this free three minutes of the film, THEN kill yourself.
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May 5, 2008 ·
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Not content with completely destroying the Chinese culture with the kung-fu sci-fi “Matrix” trilogy and the non-anime remake of “Speed Racer,” the Wachowski Brothers are tackling the ninja movie.
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May 1, 2008 ·
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The man whose nuttier than a Payday bar is returning to the movie franchise that made him a star and made us want to wretch until we threw up an organ or two.
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April 24, 2008 ·
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The summer is just around the corner and you know what that means? There’s an avalanche of trailers for films that over budgeted, over bloated and just plain over the top filled with more explosions, destruction and mayhem than a monster truck rally that’s held in downtown Fallujah.
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April 22, 2008 ·
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The name Rob Schneider can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For instance, the very mention of the name makes some people think of rotting dog turds that sit in the hot blazing Arizona sun baking in the backyard of an abandoned home while others think of rotting garbage that sits in the blazing Arizona sun baking in the backyard of an abandoned home.
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April 21, 2008 ·
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There a lot of strange mysteries that make the universe a wonderful place to be a part of: the exact orbits of the planets, the creation of Stonehenge, the movies of Ron Jeremy. Then there are some that make you wish the universe would suck itself up into non-existence just so you can understand those mysteries because you know the answer will make you want to kill yourself.
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April 14, 2008 ·
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Anna Farris’ new movie just hit the web and I haven’t left my house for two days. It isn’t because the trailer is actually any good. She plays a Playboy bunny who gets dumped into a sorority house with the chick from “Superbad,” so you do the math.
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April 9, 2008 ·
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It used to be toys got developed, assembled and released. Then they became popular and got their own cartoons so kids could buy the whole line of them and play along with them as they sat drooling and saucer eyed in front of the screen. Then the TV show became a movie making it the first time some of the little kiddies would leave the house during daylight hours. Well, not anymore.
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April 4, 2008 ·
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The remade movie mill just won’t stop churning out the cinematic sausage in that it’s usually pieced together from a bunch of other films and a pound of rancid tripe goes into every recycled bite.
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