Dumb Movies: Sure to Suck

If It Walks Like It Sucks and Talks Like It Sucks…

Another weekend is creeping up upon us like some kind of giant herpes monster and if you’re a movie freak like me, it’s something you’d rather avoid just like the giant herpes monster.

Here’s what is “Sure to Suck” this weekend at a theater near you.

Read more »

The Family that Sucks

So now that the summer movie season is finally out of the way and Oscar nomination times are winding down fast, that must mean the theaters will have smooth sailing for now on. Yeah, keep enjoying that pipe dream until the pipe bursts and floods your basement with hope, despair and misery and no plumber is going to agree to clean that up. Here’s what is sure to suck this weekend at a theater near you.

Read more »

More Suck for Your Buck

It’s the weekend. You’ve got money to burn and time to spare. You’ve also got no will to leave and no reason to go on with your meaningless pathetic little life. Why not go to your local movie theater?

Here’s what is “Sure to Suck” this weekend at a theater near you.

Read more »

Set Your Phasers to Suck for This Weekend

Another weekend is just around the corner and that can only mean one thing, other than the odds are that you’ll meet your friends at the bar for a few drinks and wake up four days later in another country with no money, hair or pants.

The movie theaters and DVD stores are bound to be filled with new releases that will make you want to release something all over them. These are the movies that are “Sure to Suck” this weekend.

Read more »

The Suck is Out There

Do you want to know the truth? Do you want to answer the questions no one in power bothers to ask? Do you want to believe? Well here it is, these movies are going to suck.

Here are the films and DVDs that are guaranteed to suck when they open this Friday both at a theater near you and on your home DVD player, according to the Internet Movie Database and Rotten Tomatoes.

Read more »

Journey to the Center of the Sure to Suck

Another weekend, another strain of endless time with nothing to do, another list of movies that are sure to reek more than cheese that’s been left on the surface of the sun. These are the movies you should avoid at the theaters this weekend.

Read more »

We Won’t Resort to Any Obvious and Cheap Jokes About How ‘Hancock’ Sucks in This Week’s ‘Sure to Suck’

The Fourth of July weekend is coming up, so you’ve got to have some plans by now. Maybe you should go to a barbecue to take a blanket and some beer to a quiet hill and watch some fireworks with that special someone. How about a trip to the movies? Sure, if you’re a big ol’ Communist.

Here’s what “Sure to Suck” at the theaters and on DVD this weekend.

Read more »

The Old Sucky Remake of a Classic Television Show Trick, That’s the Second Time I’ve Fallen for it This Year…

It’s Thursday and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for another edition of “Sure to Suck,” a sure fire guide to avoiding the movies that are sure to suck at a cineplex near you. Unless, of course, you want to watch something that sucks. Then it’s the just USA Today weekend movie guide, which has much better graphics than us and Larry King’s “News and Views” column.

Read more »

Hulk Smash! Hulk Slam! Hulk Sure to Suck!

The summer movie season seems to be in full swing since there’s a slew of films on the weekend menu that are short on story and long on suck. Here’s the stuff you should avoid this weekend like gamma radiation poisoning.

Read more »

What’s Sure to Suck This Weekend

It’s the weekend. We’re already two weeks into the summer movie season and the sound of the gas reflex can be heard from coast to coast. If you’re heading off to enjoy a flick during your Memorial Day weekend or if you’re one of those kids who has the summer off (first off, every adult in the world would like to say screw you), here’s what you should avoid at a theater near you.

Read more »

More Dumb Movies »