The Movie Blog has the skinny on the fifth “Saw” film.

Specifically, they snagged a copy of the new poster…

Where have I seen this poster before? Oh right, the last four “Saw” films. They each had some kind of horrible, grotesque human mutilation to remind audiences that the film will definitely be short on plot and long on flying blood and other bodily humors.

The only audience for these films are the blood-thirsty horror fiends who dig films with torture and innocent deaths, which there isn’t anything wrong with as long as the films they are watching aren’t home videos or terrorist cell training videos.

But the more films they make, the more extreme they have to be to make them stand out. So by the time “Saw XIIII” rolls around, the poster will just be a giant pile of bloody soaked bodies in a cereal bowl with a spoon sticking out of it and the tagline, “Two scoops…of pain.” If that sounds like a lame joke, just imagine the “Saw” screenwriter who’s jotting a note down in his idea book.

And just when you thought America’s silence on the Darfur massacre could be its biggest insult.

It gets worse. Boll admits that his past scripts have been lackluster, which is like a frat boy admitting that he’s a light drinker.

That’s why he wants his cast to improvise the entire film, this way the critics and audiences can’t blame him for phoning in a crummy script. So it will be just like “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” only funnier.

That would be Uwe Boll’s latest dud to date, “Postal,” another overblown film that aims to recreate the video game experience for the big screen without giving the audience the option to pause the damn thing midway through it.

It’s being called Boll’s most ambitious, clever and satirical film to date, which for Boll’s films is like naming your favorite type of cancerous tumor. According to early interviews and previews of the film, Boll aims to wound the P.C. movement by making jokes out of 9/11, terrorism, anthrax, Al-Qaida, George W. Bush, Osama Bin Laden, killing babies and worldwide tyranny. We can’t help but champion Boll’s cause, but he’s probably the last person we would want to lead such a cause other than Osama Bin Laden and George W. Bush. At least when Bin Laden knows how to produce and release an entertaining film every few months.

The press release starts out by saying the reason they are backing StopUweBoll is because they want to “protect the childhood dreams of millions of video gamers everywhere.” Would that be the dream where they can spend the rest of their lives testing out the stain power of bean bag chairs or the dream where belly flab is considered a turn-on by Playboy centerfolds?

They are promising a free pack of gum to everyone who signs the petition IF it reaches over a million signatures by May 14th, a mighty generous gestures since everyone who has bought a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Nintendo Wii can’t afford to buy the cheap candy in the Jerry’s Kids jar, even if they sneak a penny from the gimmie tray.

Stride’s Marketing Director Gary Osifchin explained his company’s underhanded marketing campaign, uh I mean, position:

“Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we’ve been looking for ways to return the favor. And what better way is there to get gamers’ backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?”

I can’t wait to see Boll’s response to this. Maybe this time he’ll call the Doublemint Twins fucking retards.

His first film, “German Fried Movie,” takes a German twist on the “Kentucky Fried Movie” made by John Landis, Jim Abrahms and the Zucker Brothers. The film features sketches about the first Iraq war, religion and even abortion, which is fitting since the film falls apart by the third trimester.

His second film, “Barschel – Murder in Germany,” tackles the mysterious real life death of a German politician. It’s not a comedy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hilarious.

His third and final German film, “The First Semester,” is a college comedy about a kid who will inherit his father’s money if he can pass two classes and get a steady girlfriend. Sounds just like Uwe Boll’s audience.

It gets worse. In a movie message at Movieset for his upcoming movie “Postal,” he claims his true genius by saying, “If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bull**** what you get every f***ing weekend.”

He goes on to say that, “I am the only genius in the whole f***ing business.” Dear sweet Christ. If he’s the smartest guy in Hollywood, what does that say about the rest of us? We should all be wearing drool bibs right now.

Wow, that must have taken quite a set of balls to say that. That’s why we’ve created this petition asking Boll to prove his ballness by showing them to us. Quite honestly, we hope we fail because the sight of those fuzzy flesh peaches will most likely throw us into a coma, but if you say something that merits such a statement, you’d better have the cajones to back them up. You can sign the petition here at http://www.petitiononline.com/dummovie/petition.html, you sick f***s.