If you thought the “Stop Uwe Boll” petition drive couldn’t get any more cutthroat or sadistic, think again. A candy company is using their considerable muscle to rally together their band of diabetic, flabby armed gamers to stop Boll in his tracks.

Cadbury Adams, the company that makes Stride Gum, is officially backing the “Stop Uwe Boll” petition that asks Boll to stop making movies, a promise the director has made if the petition reaches over a million signatures, according to a press release.

The press release starts out by saying the reason they are backing StopUweBoll is because they want to “protect the childhood dreams of millions of video gamers everywhere.” Would that be the dream where they can spend the rest of their lives testing out the stain power of bean bag chairs or the dream where belly flab is considered a turn-on by Playboy centerfolds?

They are promising a free pack of gum to everyone who signs the petition IF it reaches over a million signatures by May 14th, a mighty generous gestures since everyone who has bought a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Nintendo Wii can’t afford to buy the cheap candy in the Jerry’s Kids jar, even if they sneak a penny from the gimmie tray.

Stride’s Marketing Director Gary Osifchin explained his company’s underhanded marketing campaign, uh I mean, position:

“Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we’ve been looking for ways to return the favor. And what better way is there to get gamers’ backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?”

I can’t wait to see Boll’s response to this. Maybe this time he’ll call the Doublemint Twins fucking retards.