Hulk Smash! Hulk Slam! Hulk Sure to Suck!

The summer movie season seems to be in full swing since there’s a slew of films on the weekend menu that are short on story and long on suck. Here’s the stuff you should avoid this weekend like gamma radiation poisoning.

This weekend marks the return of the Incredible Hulk to the big screen. It’s got every fan boy excited from coast to coast marking the first time some of them have seen sunlight since the first movie came to the big screen.

The movie seems to have more going for it than the first one did, but it still seems silly to make a sequel to a movie that not many people thought was very good in the first place. It’s like having a nail shoved through your foot and then you wistfully think back to that time a nail got shoved through your foot. The only wistful thoughts I have from the first “Hulk” movie was when I was leaving the theater.

But surely “The Incredible Hulk” can’t be as bad as M. Night Shyamalan’s next big budget thriller called “The Happening” about a mass suicide epidemic. Sounds like the audiences for “Lady in the Water.”

The film doesn’t have much going for it so far. Shymalan hasn’t made a decent film in a long time and Rotten Tomatoes has given it a 33 percent rating two days before it opens. It better have an awesome twist ending that literally makes people’s brains explode. It better not just be, “Oh, the entire movie took place in a twisted, drug addled midget’s head. Good night. I promise my next movie will be better.”