Eli Roth, the man who used “Hostel” and “Hostel II” to launch the glorious world of torture porn, wants to make another film that doesn’t feature torture, but still feels like it.

According to Reuters, Roth wants to make a PG-13 movie that’s more family friendly.

Eli Roth making a movie for the whole family? I’d make the same confused face if Ron Jeremy announced he was making a movie for the whole family.

Roth told reporters at the NME Awards that he’s making a movie that’s a cross between “Cloverfield” and “Transformers” or in other words, a cross between “crap” and “shit.”

He wouldn’t tell them too much about the plot. That’s probably because there won’t be much of one.