Journey to the Center of the Sure to Suck

Another weekend, another strain of endless time with nothing to do, another list of movies that are sure to reek more than cheese that’s been left on the surface of the sun. These are the movies you should avoid at the theaters this weekend.

It’s summer so that can only mean one thing: movies that are so loud and flashy, they can be seen from space. “Journey to the Center of the Earth” is bound to be no exception.

This action, sci-fi adventure based on the book by Jules Verne has the taste of another overblown action adventure all over and that’s only from the commercials. It stars Brenden Fraser, features a T-Rex and more screaming than a bondage porn flick. If you’re going to see this film, make sure you bring your ear plugs and a set of horse blinders.

Then there’s yet another Eddie Murphy movie that I don’t even have to say the title of because you know it’s going to be bad just by looking at the cast list.

What happened to Eddie Murphy? He used to appear in so many great movies, classic movies like “48 Hrs.,” “Beverly Hills Cop,” “Trading Places” and “Coming to America.” Granted, chances are I would have thought all of these films would suck before I’ve seen them, but that’s my point. He doesn’t surprise anybody anymore. The very thought of having to watch a new Eddie Murphy is like knowing you’ve got an appointment with your proctologist in the morning.

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