It’s the weekend. You’ve got money to burn and time to spare. You’ve also got no will to leave and no reason to go on with your meaningless pathetic little life. Why not go to your local movie theater?

Here’s what is “Sure to Suck” this weekend at a theater near you.

It’s been awhile since Vin Diesel has made a big blockbuster action film, and after you see “Babylon A.D.,” you’ll see why.

Diesel plays a mercenary who has to escort a woman from Russia to America, but little does he know that a group of crazed cultists are trying to nab the woman so they can harvest her DNA to create a scientifically modified Messiah. It’s Jesus 2.0! He’s not only more forgiving, but he can produce twice as many loaves and fishes as the original model.

So why shouldn’t you see this one? Well, the director himself, as we reported yesterday, said the film was horrible and came off as “a bad episode of ‘24.’” It’s a good thing he held back and didn’t say what we really thought of the movie.

Then there’s the sure lock of the week, “Disaster Movie,” from the people who brought you “Date Movie,” “Epic Movie” and “God This is a Really Horrible Movie.”

The trailer feature parodies and caricatures of “Iron Man,” “The Incredible Hulk,” “Sex and the City,” “Hancock” and absolutely no disaster movie. So one can only assume that the title is referring to the film itself being a disaster.

Why do these crappy parody films keep getting made? Because you keep going to see them. So if you don’t want them at your local theater anymore, don’t go see them. If the temptation is too strong, go poke your eyes out. You’ll be doing both of us a favor.