Wahlberg to Bring the Pain (Both to Audiences and His Enemies) to “Max Payne”
Can you believe it? A video game movie that’s destined to suck is about to hit the theaters and it ISN’T one directed by Uwe Boll? You’d better watch out, Uwe. Someone’s muscling in on your turf. Better crank out that unwatchable “Duck Hunt” remake before you find yourself on the unemployment line.
A new trailer for the “Max Payne” movie based on the video game of the same name found its way to the web this week. Read more »
All of my wishes are coming true. It’s just like Christmas except unwanted kids aren’t running around my house in front of my TV while I watch the game, there are no relatives around to create awkward conversations about bladder operations and Grandpa’s not drunk and calling the authorities to report a kidnapping because his kids are talking about putting him in a home.
Technically this isn’t movie news except for the fact that happened at a premiere for a movie that looks and sounds like it could kill people with its very soul. 
In the few months I’ve been doing this blog, I’m happy to report that FINALLY I have some good news to report for the first time in our short history. Uwe Boll is retiring in flames kind of good. The guy who make the “Movie” parody movies are now managing a 7-11 kind of good. 
There must be waves of heat stroke criss crossing the country because with a few exceptions, a lot of bad movies have been scoring the number one box office spot. 
The Fourth of July weekend is coming up, so you’ve got to have some plans by now. Maybe you should go to a barbecue to take a blanket and some beer to a quiet hill and watch some fireworks with that special someone. How about a trip to the movies? Sure, if you’re a big ol’ Communist.
M. Night Shyamalan’s latest shock ‘n shout fest “The Happening” didn’t happen. Surprise!
Things are a little slow out here at Casa de Películas Mudas what with Pixar’s new “Wall-e” being all sweet and cute and melting everyone’s heart into sweet tasting goo. Damn you Pixar! Why do your movies have to kick so much ass? Every time you make a good movie, one of my children doesn’t get to eat.
As if the “Transformers” movie couldn’t get any more messed up, it’s about to get a weird cameo and no it’s not Cracker, the autobot who can turn into a broken down, double wide trailer with no wheels.