Some Shocking News: “Speed Racer” Sucks
After predicting the new “Speed Racer” remake would be a huge waste of time, money and eye usage, we are pleasantly surprised to report that it’s even worse than that.
The film, which opened last Friday, scored a 35% “rotten” rating on RottenTomatoes.com over the weekend.
Joe Morganstern of the Wall Street Journal calls this car wreck of a film a…
“toxic admixture of computer-generated frenzy and live-action torpor succeeds in being, almost simultaneously, genuinely painful — the esthetic equivalent of needles in eyeballs…”
Wow, I’ve said a lot of negative things about movies before, but never anything to the effect this film feels like being stabbed in the eyes over and over. I’ve said I wanted to stab MYSELF in the eyes, but I never said the film was responsible for the assault.
Claudia Piug of USA Today said…
“For a movie about velocity, the excitement factor is low and the races feel like a drag.”
Oh you just knew one of the critics was going to whip out a drag pen in their thesis statement. Either that or “Boy is this movie SLOW” or “This film runs out of gas quick” or “I towed myself out of the theater.” Yeah, I’m glad movie critics aren’t really writers either.
On the positive side, Chris Hewitt of the St. Paul Pioneer Press said…
“Speed Racer doesn’t resemble any movie you’ve ever seen.”
He must see a lot of GOOD movies.
steve Said,
May 14, 2008 @ 7:03 am
speed racer is like taking a BIG dump in the toilet….then add lots and lots
of colors. only worse
patrick Said,
May 15, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
The Wachowski bros certainly put a lot of effort into making Speed Racer… but the movie overall looked and felt like a cross between anime, a kaleidoscope, that Flintstones movie, a video game and the Dukes of Hazard
Danny Gallagher Said,
May 19, 2008 @ 4:00 am
You’re both right, it’s looks like a kaleidoscope of poop.
Brian Shaw Said,
May 21, 2008 @ 1:15 pm
I saw this movie at a drive-in…thank goodness I paid to see Iron Man and watched this 1st. Even free it was still so painful to watch and I’ve sat through alot of kids movies. There are various aspects of the movie sure to agonize every age group and demografic.
Let your 10yr old and below watch when its shown on TV where the language is cleaned up. Make sure you schedule something during this time period so you have an excuse not to watch or you will regret it.
sarah Said,
May 27, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
fuck you all!!! speed racer was a hella sick ass movie:]]it was da best movie ive EVER seen.it was hella the bomb ass!!!!!!!!!!!
carrie Said,
May 27, 2008 @ 1:33 pm
speed racer was not kaleidoscope of poop. it was very fun for my whole family to watch and we really enjoyed the movie. that movie was better than iron man.