Movies like “Spider Man 3″ didn’t just help create the smell of old cheese and a thin layer of puke in every movie theater in America. It also made the cash register ring, which other than children crying and yawning is music to a film producer’s ears.

According to E! Online, rancid stinkpiles like “Spider Man 3″ helped bring the coin back to the box office this summer, despite negative reviews.

The news forced the Centers for Disease Control to declare a state of emergency since they now believe the majority of Americans are deaf and blind.

Ticket sales in America and the world rose by 5 percent in 2007, and the Motion Picture Association of America says big budget movies like “Spider Man 3″ are the cause of it all. I’m starting to wonder if Dr. Octopus’ defeat in “Spider Man 2″ wasn’t such a great ending.

Look, no disrespect to director Sam Raimi or the Spider-Man franchise. The first one was fun. The second film was awesome. The third film ranks right up there with “The Godfather III,” “The Matrix Revolutions” and “Deep Throat III.” They all had a lot of suck for a lot of buck.