Once again we scan the local movie listings of your neighborhood newspaper (because it’s not like you actually read them unless the words “blonde,” “exposed” or “tassels” are in the headlines) to tell you what’s “Sure to Suck” at a theater near you.

First up comes “Drillbit Taylor” starring Owen Wilson as a down on his luck mercenary hired by some high school wimps to act as their undercover bodyguard. Something tells me a lot of people are still going to feel like they’ve been beaten up once they’ve seen this.

There’s nothing against some of the people involved in this movie. John Hughes wrote the original treatment way back when. Judd Apatow picked it up and handed over to his minions, Kristofor Brown and Seth Rogen, to do the script. Steven Brill, the guy who directed “Without a Paddle” and “Little Nicky,” is at the helm. Oh wait, scratch that last one.

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Tyler Perry returns to the screen in the role that made him a star (because no one would recognize him otherwise) with “Meet the Browns,” another film that carries on the Madea film tradition of being a really bad film and still managing to get the top spots at the box office.

Seriously folks, the only reason these horrid, sappy, feel good films of Perry’s keep getting made is because you keep going to see them. A single ant can’t kill the elephant without the help of his fellow drones, and you can stop this film by just not going to it. Shoot yourself in the foot if you have to if the self-struggle becomes too great to overcome.

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Finally, and it’s guaranteed to be the worst of the week comes “Shutter,” a horror film that will make you do just that but for all the wrong reasons.

How do I know this one will suck? Because it stars Joshua Jackson of “Dawson’s Creek” fame, an actor who hasn’t been in an entertaining movie since never. Any film he’s attached to should come with a warning label for major studios with his head plastered on the front and two bones crossing each other placed just underneath his chin like a bow-tie of certain death.