Are you looking forward to see something this weekend at your local theater? Have you been burned so many times by bad movies that you’ve avoided the movie theater altogether and turned into a pale hermit that gets less sunlight than the moon? We’re here to help. These are the movies that are sure to suck this weekend.

First up, there’s the horror remake “Prom Night” about a killer who runs amock on prom night. What would you expect from a cheesy teen horror remake? Deep symbolism? The only way the title of this film could be more dull is if they called it “The Movie Where Everyone Except One Guy Is Killed on Their Way to the Prom For Causing a Young Girl’s Accident Death, Also on Prom Night.”

It’s actually a remake of a cheesy 1980 horror slasher film of the same name starring Leslie Neilsen and Jamie Lee Curtis, so you can just imagine how cheesy this latest version will be. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control ruled that a single viewing of “Prom Night” is an excellent source of calcium, decreases your risk of osteoporosis and strengthens bones and teeth.

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This weekend is also the premiere for “Street Kings,” another gritty street cop drama featuring another rapper playing another cop in another attempt to put hard working actors out of work and starve them to death so they make cheap meat for Taco Bells across the nation.

This one stars Keanu Reeves as an LAPD cop who returns to the force after his wife’s death and is implicated in the death of a fellow officer. Think of it as “Point Break” but without all the emotion, drama or depth.