If you’re looking forward to the new big screen “Speed Racer” remake, kill yourself. But before you do check out this free three minutes of the film, THEN kill yourself.

Once again, we’ve given this clip of the film that first appeared on IGN our patented “Trashed Trailers” treatment because digital technology has made it impossible to burn or smash free press copies of the latest films. Damn you Internet.

00:12 - Speed Racer, played by Emile Hirsch, is letting Young Speed, played by Nicholas Elia, sit on his lap as they careen around a turn on the race track. Speed asks Young Speed, “You feel that shimmy?” You know if I’m a 10 year old boy sitting on a grown man’s lap, the last thing I want to hear him ask is if I feel a shimmy.

00:36 - Speed tells Young Speed that the key to effective driving is to close your eyes and listen to the car as you drive it. Remember that when your old man prepped you for your first driving test by making you close your eyes as you pulled into a left hand turn? I do and so does the entire ninth grade class of Robert E. Lee High School in Tyler, Texas after I rolled their bus on their way back from their end of the year skating field trip.

It should be noted that editors weren’t able to fit John Goodman, who plays Pops in the film, in this scene. I don’t mean they couldn’t make time for him. I mean they physically couldn’t fit his pudgy frame into the clip. In his defense, those YouTube screens are pretty damn small.