If you’re looking for a horrible, rotten, terrible piece of cinematic garbage, you must live a very lonely and unfulfilling life. Hey, welcome to the club. You also can’t go wrong with the Schneidermeister, the Schneiderino, the Scheinderocre, the Sucktastic, never gone get an Oscarino.

His latest piece of miserable dreck is the direct-to-DVD dude “American Crude.”

It stars Schneider as an about to be married guy, so right there the plot is already very hard to take seriously.

The whole evening goes horribly wrong when everything from murder to unidentified bodies to a kidnapping is thrown into the mix. You know, the usual bachelor party type stuff.

The movie also stars Jennifer Esposito, Ron Livingston and Michael Clarke Duncan who’s better known as the big magical black guy from “The Green Mile” who wishes he could use his magical healing powers to bring his career back from the dead.